Conflict Resolution Strategies | Health Tip Of The Week

by admin on 7:11 PM

This health tip of the week is about conflict resolution strategies and why healthy confrontation is necessary for optimal well being and healthy relationships. Too often I see people avoiding conflict before ultimately exploding. For example, someone will say something that bothers you and you shake it off and tell yourself it is not a big deal. Then that person will say something else to you that bothers you and again, you rationalize it and “deal with it” by saying that it is not a big deal. This sequence continues with each little jabbing comment resulting in more and more resentment until one day, that same individual will say a comment that is really not that insulting and the result is a breakdown and an outburst. You end up saying things you end up regretting and that you don’t really mean. In reality, you are not mad at the individual for that specific comment he or she made to you, but instead, your outburst is the accumulation of all the comments said to you over that period of time.conflict resolution strategies Conflict Resolution Strategies | Health Tip Of The Week

I like to think of this sequence as water dripping into a cup. Each drip signifies a little jab. After a while the drips of water cause the cup to reach the rim of the cup and with one more drip, the cup overflows. But the cup did not overflow because of that last drip. It overflowed because of all the drips accumulating.

So many problems in life would be resolved if there was better communication. Often times people view confrontation as negative and often times it is, but, in my opinion, healthy confrontation is of the utmost importance in any relationship, be it family, spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, friend, coworker, boss, etc.

Conflict resolution strategies to be aware of when dealing with confrontation.

1. When communicating, or “confronting,” make sure you are in a calm and composed state of mind. Do not retaliate. Simply respond and let the other person know how you are feeling. It can be detrimental to act out in the heat of the moment because you may say things that you do not mean and cause unnecessary damage to a relationship. None of us can really know how others really feel in response to our actions and comments. Because of this, it is important that we communicate to give the other individual a chance to change some of his or her actions or words. You may be surprised how receptive the other individual may be. Often times we are very unaware of how hurtful our actions and words can be to the people we love and care about most. In other situations, however, the other individual may not respond well and it could possibly end the friendship or relationship. If someone does not love you enough to treat you better and care about how feel, then it is probably best that they may be removed from your life. Do not let anyone make you feel like you are less valuable than you actually are.

2. Reflect on how these comments or actions make you feel before letting the other individual know. If you are feeling angry, full of rage, and resentful, simply walk away, gather yourself and calm down, and then return. Think about the situation and try to translate how you feel into words so that you can better communicate. Try to understand the intention of the individual. Often times when we look within and analyze the situation, we will realize that the other individual’s intentions may have been positive and non-malicious. They may really care about you but simply didn’t realize the effect of their words. Also, when we look within ourselves, we may find the reason that those comments/actions make us feel the way we do. Maybe it brings up some kind of negative experience from our past that we have been avoiding for some time that we should bring to the surface and try to resolve. When we push things to the side and repress certain feelings and experiences, it will inevitably come back twofold. By bringing these feelings to the surface of our conscious mind, we can transform them so that we can be happier. This process is often painful as, most of the time, these experiences and emotions are pushed to the side for a reason: because they are unfavorable. Create a support system to help you through this process and understand that by not avoiding and repressing, you will be healthier and feel better. Often times, pain is the first step to healing.

3. Do not allow seeds of resentment to be planted. I like to think of resentment as knots in our backs. Whenever someone says or does something that makes us resentful, it plants a knot in our back. A couple knots are not a big deal, but over time, if we do not resolve these conflicts, these knots become more abundant and tighter making them extremely difficult to resolve. Do not let time pass before loosening and untying your knots. If you allow seeds of resentment to grow and become tighter, it may be too late to resolve different relationships with loved ones that you will inevitably regret.

4. Lastly, do not let someone’s irrational and manipulative actions dictate your actions. Many people use a lack of rationale to get their way. Whether it is by getting extremely angry or by simply acting stupid, people use different methods to control and manipulate. They may guilt trip you or play the victim. In these situations, stay strong no matter how hard it may be. Let them know how you feel and when you realize that they are about to try and manipulate you, simply tell them that you do not appreciate their actions. If they do not change or reciprocate, simply walk away and communicate to them that you will engage in conversation when they change their behavior and are more receptive of your needs and feelings.

So next time, you find yourself in a situation that warrants healthy confrontation, utilize this health tip of the week‘s conflict resolution strategies! If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask!

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